90 Day Challenge

If your brain and nervous system are in a protective mode, many everyday activities will be difficult, including things that could be beneficial like mindset work, rest, and other self-regulating activities like meditation and yoga.

These exercises were chosen for their proven benefits for the brain and their accessibleness, even if your nervous system is dysregulated.

1. For you to create a personal collection of activities that can help you self-regulate. I am adamant that you have this in place before you start intense coaching. I need to know that you have tools to manage yourself if something is triggering

2. Brain optimization. All of the thinking work we do happens within your brain. We want it working in a more optimized way so that we can do greater mindset work. These activities are designed to help with that.

3. An empowered automatic response. The next time you feel anxious, like you’re starting to spiral, like you’re triggered, etc. I want your first thought to be, “I have tools for this.” (Or some version of that.)

A special note needs to be made about the “what you can control” portion.

Most of you will fall into one of two main camps:

1. Those of you who take responsibility for things you can’t actually control (like other people’s emotions). These are our classic people-pleasers!

2. Those of you who don’t take enough responsibility for what you can control. You may feel completely helpless to do anything at all. (This is known as “learned helplessness” and is usually the result of experiencing trauma when we were too young to be able to make ourselves safe.)

If you are in category 1: Be very sure that you are listing things that you can actually control. This would include YOUR thoughts, YOUR feelings, YOUR actions, and YOUR words. It cannot include other people’s thoughts, feelings, actions, or words. You may even want to consider creating a “Things I CAN’T control” list if that’s more helpful.

If you are in category 2: Think of micro-choices here. List very tiny thing that are specific. And, make sure you take time to reflect specifically on things you can do NOW that maybe you couldn’t do as a child. Include resources and support that you can choose to utilize now that you didn’t have access to as a child.

For everyone: When you get about half way through your list, I want you to email it to me so I can read through it and give feedback.

hello@lorriegray.com
Subject: Control List

I just want to make sure you’re getting the idea so that this is a helpful exercise and not one that reinforces negative beliefs.

You cannot change how your brain works immediately. It takes time and consistency. But, over time, you can change how the brain functions.

In general, whatever you practice, you get better at.

One proven technique for feeling better, is learning to be present more of the time.

If you are in fight or flight, this is the last thing the brain wants to do. It is very focused on scanning for danger.

So, don’t expect to be able to do a one hour meditation day 1 or even to be fully present on a task.

But, what CAN you do?

Where are you currently making choices that are training your brain to not be present?

Where can you make shifts to start moving towards being more present by choosing to NOT multitask?

Examples:
1. Stay off your phone unless its time to be on it. You may need to put it away somewhere due to the habitual nature of this. Think about putting your phone elsewhere during exercise, family meals, or while watching a movie.

2. Find places where you’re actively multi-tasking and instead choose to do one thing at a time. For example, I was notorious for trying to listen to recorded coaching calls (from programs like this one that I participated in) while cooking dinner or even writing emails! Instead, sit down with a pen and paper and take notes on the call, then go check your emails after.

This work that we are doing is all happening within your brain.

Your brain is a physical organ and needs certain things to function well.

One of them is to have enough blood circulating to it.

The way to achieve this is by getting your heart rate over 120 bpm.

This can usually be achieved with 1-3 minutes of movement. And arm activities are even more beneficial than leg ones, so you don’t even have to get up.

My go-to options:

-Walk the dog.

-Jump up and down 100x (it’s not really jumping…more like enthusiastic bouncing, but it works!)

-3-5 assisted push-ups.

-a quick walk up the stairs.

See if you can figure out some options that work for you.

Remember: This isn’t about “exercising,” “burning calories,” “getting 20 minutes of movement in each day,” or anything like that. It’s literally just getting your heart rate above 120bmp so that blood is forced to the brain. You don’t have to sustain it for any length of time.

PS - I know for some of you there will be extenuating circumstances that makes this difficult or impossible. Do your best to really think through this to see if there is anything you can do. Or, is there a small thing you can do that might help you work up to being able to apply this in the future? If not, just leave it!

Your brain needs fuel. So, in the workbook I have listed some things that will help your brain work better.

Again, some of you do not have a healthy relationship with food, so you need to know if you can engage in this in a loving way. If you can’t apply these from a place of love, skip it for now!

Beneficial to include:

Focus on eating real food

15g of protein from real food 3x/day

Plenty of good fats

Drink water - adding lemon, salt, or an electrolyte powder can help with hydration. (I use LMNT)

Beneficial to avoid:

• Foods that are highly inflammatory such as:

• alcohol

• white sugar and its derivatives (including raw cane sugar)

• trans fats (like canola oil, sunflower oil, and vegetable oils)

• refined carbohydrates

• Traditional sodas and other beverages containing sugar or artificial sweeteners like aspartame

I am a huge proponent of diet, so there is certainly more you can do, but this is a good baseline.

There are a number of other products that I recommend for brain health.

• Supplements: Our food is simply not as nutritious as it once was. Have a good multi-vitamin/multi-mineral option, an omega, a digestive enzyme, and a probiotic are helpful for most people.

• Vitamin D

• Magnesium - especially magnesium L-threonate. I use THIS ONE.

• Ketones - I use THIS ONE

• Near infrared light therapy shined on the brain (aim at temples and eyes as it doesn’t penetrate the bones of the skull well). There are a lot of models out there, THIS is the least expensive one I have found. But if you have a higher budget, THIS is a great option for the brain.

• A high quality frankincense essential oil used sublingually (under the tongue) or diffused.

For starters, if you struggle with sleep or have anxiety around sleep, you probably don’t need to be reading this. Focus on loving your body and peaceful acceptance of any and all sleep patterns. I know what it’s like to just not be able to sleep no matter how great your sleep hygiene is and have struggled with sub-par sleep my whole life including years of insomnia. I GET IT!!


For the rest of you…

The sleep that you get between 10pm and 2am is the most important sleep of the night. That is where 80% of your “rested” feeling comes from and is the most important sleep for brain health.

You will feel more rested sleeping from 10pm-6am than sleeping from 12pm-8am, even though both are 8 hours.

So, if you can adjust your sleep schedule to accommodate those hours, please do.

Epigenetics and Neuroplasticity are concepts that provide hope and I want to share them with you as we begin.

Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to rewire itself. Your brain is not completely set or stuck. You wake up each day with new little baby synapses that you get to direct where to go.

Epigenetics is the science that explains why genetic predisposition becomes genetic expression. Scientists have identified a number of epigenetic factors that turn the switch to “on” so that a condition you were predisposed to is now expressed. What that means is that, if there are things that turn it “on,” the inverse can turn it, “off.”

I share both of these for a particular reason.

If you approach this work from a place of believe that there is no way anything can ever change for you, you will unconsciously sabotage yourself and make it true. Through your thinking you will give your mind and body directions to not heal.

I cannot and will not make any guarantees about your individual results. But I do want you to know that, for most people, significant improvement is possible because of these two well-documented and scientifically proven phenomenon.

Your brain can rewire itself.

Your nervous system can become more regulated.

And many more things may be possible for you.

Don’t be attached to that outcome, but do be open to it.

Use these if you can’t figure out how to get started with your thought download:

What are you worried about?

What scares you right now?

What do you wish was different?

What isn’t right?

What is hurting?

What are you struggling with?

What is a problem you have?

What isn’t working?

1. Become aware of your thinking in real time.

2. Gain a greater awareness of the thoughts and emotions that come up for you most often.

3. Learn to be in compassionate acceptance of whatever you find.

4. Learn your triggers.

5. Learn your glimmers

An activity that pairs well with Level 2 work is the Trauma Timeline activity.

This can be found in the Resources section.

The goal of Level 3 work is to rewire one new thought into your brain and to learn the process of doing this.

It is important that you focus on ONE NEW THOUGHT for the duration of the 30 days; Ideally choosing the most painful and/or most recurring limiting beliefs that you uncovered during Month 2.

1. Write out the new thought you are working to believe.

2. Does it feel true? Y/N

3. Why not? What is your evidence?

4. Give an answer for each objection.

5. If you already believed it:

   1. What would you be thinking?

   2. What would you be feeling?

   3. What would you be doing? What would you not be doing?

6. Write yourself a note from your future self who already believes this new thought. What does that version of you have to say to you today?

Remember to work with the same thought everyday for the full 30 days.

This is a process that I developed based mostly on my own journey towards self-love, which I share about in my book, Becoming Aphrodite.

This is the process I used to become:

- A woman who loves herself.

-A genuinely grateful person.

-A 6-figure business owner.

-And more!

I pretty much always have one of these going. I do concentrated work on it for 30 days and then I transition to lighter work where I simply remind myself of my new belief on a regular basis.